


Two times Arthur got glimpses of how hard Merlin’s life has really been

by Mischiefy



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: 2+1 moments, And really doesn't like pyres, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic, Gen, He has a lot of sad memories, Merlin's never been free, POV Arthur, arthur lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 06:12:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16781245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mischiefy/pseuds/Mischiefy
Summary: ...and one time he got told by Merlin himself.“ No one- not even Morgana- deserves to die at the stake, Arthur. It’s merciless.”





	Two times Arthur got glimpses of how hard Merlin’s life has really been

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> This is the first fic I write for this fandom, so I really hope you'll like it- To be truthful, I'm really happy with how it turned out, especially the last part.
> 
> P.S. English's not my first language- if you find mistakes just notice them to me. I'll be more than happy to rectify them.

First- _Freedom_

The first time, it happens shortly after Arthur announces Merlin he’d repeal the ban on magic.

He finds his manservant- his _former_ manservant, he corrects himself- crying and laughing in the arms of a teary-eyed Gaius, whispering again and again “I’m free, Gaius, I’m free”.

Arthur closes softly the door and leaves the two with a heavy heart, knowing fully well that the scene is not meant for his eyes.

No, Merlin would never want him to understand how much Arthur- and his father- had hurt him.

And the king is aware that he should have already known this- _of course_ , Merlin’s never been free-, but it never occurred to him.

Because Merlin’s always been- at least in his mind- the very definition of the word _freedom_.

Arthur feels like an idiot realizing just now that his friend has never actually known what the word _freedom_ means.

Second- _Memories_.

The second time, it happens during a casual conversation.

Merlin’s saying “You think I’m still thinking about that?” with a huff.

“Arthur, that doesn’t even make it into the top ten of my worst memories”

And Arthur’s struck by the implications of this sentence.

Because if almost dying with a knife in his heart doesn’t make it into the top ten, then what kind of terrible memories must Merlin have?

His mind’s stuck on the thought as his friend keeps, obliviously, chattering on.

Plus one- _Burning._

They are watching the witch burning at the stake- she’s killed three children and more than thirteen people. She is no innocent- and Merlin’s eyes are fixed on the pyre, his face unreadable.

Arthur’s eyes, however, are fixed on Merlin.

“Are you ok?” he asks discreetly, in a low voice, unable to keep the worry from creeping into his words.

Merlin doesn’t look at him, his eyes still fixed on the fire, and there’s something both frightening and infinitely sad in how the flames are reflecting themselves into the blue of his friend’s pupils.

“I used to dream about this, you know” Merlin whispers, his voice is absent as if his mind were lost somewhere else.

It hurts Arthur, the carelessness his friend uses to talk about this.

The king rests a hand on the marble rail for support- Merlin seems so… so far away from him, now.

“For years on end… my nightmares were about the sovereign of Camelot and his knights. They used to catch me and burn me on the pyre. They didn’t have faces, back then. Uther was simply a monster without expression.” Merlin keeps talking, and Arthur wants to shout at him to shut up, because this conversation… this is a nightmare in itself.

He doesn’t know how he keeps listening without breaking into a thousand little pieces- but he does. He owes it to Merlin, in a certain sense.

To be strong for him.

“Then I arrived here, and the faceless man acquired precise features- a voice, a heart.

I used to be afraid of the fire too, you know? Because it burns- and in Camelot, it burned Magic.” Merlin lets out a bitter laugh, his eyes steel as the pained scream of the woman vanishes with her death.

Arthur inhales deeply and exhales slowly, trying to keep his calm.

The only thing he wants, right now, is to physically drag Merlin away from that morbid scene.

He doesn’t like the expression of collected despair on his friend’s face, nor the way he’s getting paler and paler before his own eyes.

Then Merlin turns to look at Arthur, and the king gasps.

Merlin’s serious as he’s never been- not with Arthur, at least.

His face is open, however, and sincere.

“No one- not even Morgana- deserves to die at the stake, Arthur. It’s merciless.”

Before Arthur can answer, Merlin’s already left.

-.-.-.-

That was the last pyre to ever be lit in Camelot’s history.


End file.
